omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
do herpes really smell.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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