Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
