i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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