As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
