I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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