I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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