I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
