Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
