but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
