Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
