I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
