Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm both gender and math confused
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize