I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
