I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Randomize
