Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
