she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
