I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
