i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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