Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
