Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
