Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
