ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
