They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
