i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
