Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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