did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
