Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
