i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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