I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
