i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
