East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
