I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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