after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize