so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
