this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
