No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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