She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
