The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
