So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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