If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
