I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
