Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
im holly from the hills drunk
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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