I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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