How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
