she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
