Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
