She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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