he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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