yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
