North Korea, Best Korea!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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