Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Panties = found
Randomize
