Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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