Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
