white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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