he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
