Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize