Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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