I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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