Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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