Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
